We sent Angry Panda along his journey a while ago, and this was his departing picture with us. I decided to type up the note I wrote in his journal, and I thought it was past time to share it with all of you.
Hello Insiders!
I’m Ashley (Pollock) Farnsworth, and Angry Panda visited our family in Fort Worth, Texas. My husband and I are raising a 10, 8, 7, 5, and 3-year-old so we had lots of opportunities to take Angry Panda out!
While he stayed with us, I gave a great deal of thought to anger--what it is and what kind of impact it has on our lives. I think that almost all anger is really just a mask that Hurt wears. I think we get angry because we or someone we care about has been hurt. So I’ve learned to see anger, both in myself and in others, as a big neon sign that blares, “I’M HURT” and another one that says, “HELP ME” when I see anger.
I think that anger can be useful. Anger gets such a negative connotation, doesn’t it? But when you see anger as the expression of an unmet need, you can really see the humanity in everyone (and every panda) because we are all familiar with that. To be perfectly honest, I have often gotten some great productivity accomplished because it was sparked by anger. My husband even knows to make sure I’m okay if our house is significantly cleaner when he gets up than after he goes to bed. My mom cooked amazing meals when she was angry. But anger can also lead us to impulsive decisions--I’ve also made plenty of mistakes in a moment of anger, and I’ve learned to carefully select who I might choose to ask for help to sort out my feelings.
So what are you supposed to do with that? Well, I hope that you can look back at moments of anger in your life, whether your own or someone else’s, and FORGIVE. Now if that anger was someone else, “forgive” is not to mean, “pretend it never happened and open yourself to further harm,” not by any stretch of the imagination. If people have harmed you, take all the time and space you need to heal! But let go. Sometimes we hold onto trauma for WAY too long because it’s so scary to let go. But you can. And you deserve a life that doesn’t have that thing you’re holding onto weighing you down. So forgive. Forgive yourself, and forgive others (even if you also need to remove them from your life). You deserve it.
I am a very, very big believer in being our best selves. I believe that when people are their best selves they are also their happiest selves. So do whatever you need to do so that you can be your very best self. You are so worth it.
Also, you are doing a MUCH, MUCH better job than you think you are. Super pinky promise. You are not the failure the voice in your head (whether your own or tapes of what someone else has said to you) tries to convince you that you are. Not even a little bit.
Finally, all of this has led to an ultimate realization: the world becomes a better place when invisible people are seen. When people are seen, they don’t need anger because their hurt is validated and cared for. So tell the people around you what makes you feel seen, and try to make sure those around you feel seen, too.
So to recap me learnings from our mutual friend, Angry Panda:
- Anger is really hurt and pain
- Anger can be useful or destructive
- Forgiveness is important
- You are not a failure
- Be seen, see others
I hope these words leave you uplifted and edified and invigorated to go out and do good in your world!
If they don’t, I hope you have time for a nap. Naps are the best.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Love,
Insider and #Pandler Ashley F.